NaBloPoMo Day 11: Five Things I've Learned Through Marriage (and birds don't fart)

Nov. 11: What are five funny (but real) things your current relationship has taught you?

1.  That two people don’t have to be the same brand of weird to work. 

True love.

I like Star Wars, he watches pro-wrestling. I read comic books, he follows the New York Knicks. I was a goth girl, he rocked Timbs and loose pants. We came from different places and preferences, but we agree on just enough dumb stuff to be a good pair. I think that if a couple can quote the same stupid movies together, they’re probably going to do alright.

2.  Shared finances are not easy.

Actual photo of my husband's wallet; it's hard to sit, but helps with budgeting.

Okay, this one isn’t actually funny but I couldn’t ignore it. We struggled to find our balance in this department, but we finally found something that works. It used to feel more like roommates, we had our own accounts and he would give me money to pay bills. Then we wound up with a mortgage and a toddler in daycare and that didn’t work anymore. Now we have a shared checking and savings, along with our own separate checking accounts, and a Google Doc that we use to budget and track spending. It is much more organized and I can’t believe we didn’t always do it this way.

3.  Birds don’t fart.

My husband kept blaming his farts on our lovebird, I’m pretty sure that if Tweeter ever farted that hard he would have either shot up into the air or simply exploded into a cloud of feathers. So, I did my research and discovered that birds do not, in fact, fart. If not for marriage, I never would have known.

4.  Whiskers stick to everything.

Some guy really pissed of the lady in his life
Image via Beard King

I’m tempted to buy one of those suction cupped capes for when he shaves. I will find his hair in my toothbrush, the soap, in my makeup bag that was in the drawer (how????)…everywhere. I suppose I have the advantage of all my shaving happening in the shower, so it just washes away to slowly clog the drain.

5.  Married people are basically the worst friends ever.

Ehhh, I don't know. I'd have to put on pants for this.

Even before having our daughter, we were starting to become terrible friends. Why leave the house to go to a bar when you are already hanging out with the person you like better than anyone else? We try to make appearances when it really matters, but really, we’re good.

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