Writing is not the way I would typically be creative, but
it has become my only outlet. I come from a background of theatre: performance,
directing, and producing. I did everything from improv to musicals to
Shakespeare. Theatre was never my full-time gig; I was getting paid, but never
enough to quit my day job. So when I found myself with a high-risk pregnancy,
it all had to change. I could only focus on the job that paid the bills and
provided my health insurance, plus I couldn't push myself to take on any other
contracts for fear I would go into labor early and be unable to see the project
through. I have not been creative in the ways that I know best since I was first
pregnant.
Right now, my life is a very fine balance of routine.
There is just enough time in the day to take care of my child, my full-time
job, my hellish commute, and maybe cook something or shower or whatever. If
anything upsets that balance there is a snowball effect of problems.
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| -Actual quotes from our household Image via Pixabay |
The chaos is much more controlled than it used to be, the
entire first year of my child's life felt like pure survival mode. I'd say it
wasn't until she turned 2 that I started to really miss having an artistic outlet.
To add to that, I felt like parenthood had somehow rotted
my brain. I know they say babies leech nutrients from the mother, but I'm
thinking brain cells jump ship too. Even now that she is a toddler, I still
feel like my mind has regressed in some way. Maybe it's because I spend my time
outside of work hanging out with a 2 year old, reading books meant for 2 year
olds, and watching TV geared toward 2 year olds. (It's not the most challenging
material). I can hardly hold a conversation with my husband because our child
talks over us, the kid's got some serious "look at me syndrome" going
on and likes all conversations to involve her. When we're finally alone we both
knock the hell out and maybe we'll shoot each other a few quick texts about
what's going on while at work the next day.
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| Truly riveting stuff. Also, I still don't know what was in the water dish. |
My favorite part of theatre was being able to tell a
story, so I tried to think of ways that I could still do that in my very
limited time. Writing became the new vehicle for my storytelling because it
doesn't require a schedule or involve other people. I can write on my lunch
break or on the notepad app on my phone while I lay in bed. If I don't post
anything for a week, I'll be disappointed but there is no one else relying on
me to adhere to any kind of timeline. Working in theatre is a collaborative
process, it is not something to be done in isolation of others and that was
always part of the appeal to me. Unfortunately, I am not at point in my life
where I can commit the time and energy to collaborate, I don't think it would
be fair because I can't give what I normally would want to give to the process.
But there are still all of these jokes and ideas and stories inside of me and,
until recently, they were just swirling around under the surface. Thanks to my
blog, I finally had a place to let everything spill out and take shape as
stories to share. Even if no one read a word I wrote, I would keep at it
because I can't bottle it back up again.
Writing my blog has become more than just the outlet I
intended it to be. Blogging enables me to interact with people I never would
have otherwise known, I am connected to other writers all over the world. They read
my blog and I read theirs...and it's awesome! I feel like I am part of
community that I didn't even know existed a few months ago. So far, two other
websites have featured my posts and it's exposed me to a whole new world filled
with funny, smart writers and I get play in the same sandbox as them! It's strange
to think that I didn't even know this playground existed until a few months
ago.
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| A little reminder from my theatre days. |
I would recommend that any parent who is feeling bottled
up inside try blogging. It gives you a chance to not only be creative, but to
use some of your big girl GRE vocabulary as well. For example:
- absconded
- grandiloquent
- harangue
#blogging #creativity #writing #storytelling
I remember those parenting days even tho mine are long over and grandbabies are now my world. We didn't have blogs then but I had journals. Tons and tons of journals. I wish I had been the mom my daughter is. She always takes a moment for herself to have a glass of wine with friends. It's not an every day thing but it's definitely something they make and take the time to do. Having outlets is important. - I really liked this post. :)
ReplyDeleteI hope you saved those journals! I struggle with finding that balance of taking time for myself/time with my husband and parenting, but I do think it's important to figure it out!
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